Unreal Estate
'Unreal Estate '''is the first episode of Season 1 of Peppa Pig's Summer Camp, and the season premiere. Transcript ''boat rides up to a dock, then pausing Sailor: Alright kids, we're here... get off the boat. to punch the kids off the boat and sails away Peppa: ...well this is just is just FANTASTIC. Not only do our parents flat out ditch us, but at a camp WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? Emily: A summer camp, retard. Lisa: Wow, doesn't even understand what a summer camp is, pretty embarrassing am I right? Emily: True, I definitely agree. Brianna: Same. and Emily starting beating Brianna up Lisa and Emily: SHUT UP BRIANNA! Counselor: You losers gonna come in or what? looks up at the conselor Peppa: WHAT IS THIS!? Looking like Fitz from 12oz Mouse! Counselor: Shut up with you groin-head self. Looking like a walking crotch. dies of laughter Emily, I know you ain't laughing. Emily: Whoa, don't drag me into this crap! Suzy: Shut up, crap turd. Counselor; IF YOU KIDS DON'T GET IN THIS GODDAMN CAMP IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS YOU'RE BEING THROWN INTO SHARK WATER! Freddy: Holy crap, they're sharks here?! Peppa: Shut up and run! makes it in except Kylie Kylie: Out of all the racist that's happened to the Africans, now you exclude me? What assholes! the camp Suzy: Holy crap, this place is awful. Counselor: Well your parents paid $270 for you to attend so we can force you to do child labor- I MEAN TEACH YOU THE VALUE OF NATURE! Peppa: ... hippies. Counselor: Follow me. kids follow the conselor This is where you kids hide dead bodies will sleep. Pedro: WHOA that is that is underage! Conselor: Pedro you- Peppa: Commence the next, uh, thing. Counselor: YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME CRACKHEAD! off a bridge Danny: Who gave this man a crack pipe? kids proceed to walk into their buildings, with Freddy falling behind Freddy: Hey douchebags, ever consider I need a place to crash, too? Emily: Snooze you lose! Cackles Freddy: groans People these-WHOAA! falls of the pathway and finds some paper What the hell is this?! Camp Money? Counselor: Camp Money is the currency we use here at RunDown Island. Every dollar is worth $5 standard dollars. If you find enough, you can buy real estate! away Freddy: grinning Real Estate? Camp Money This is at least 2,000 Camp Bucks! Real Estate? More like "Unreal Estate"! ---- Intro ---- Freddy: Hello sir, Camp Money on desk I would like to buy 70 Condos. Counselor: OOHHHH! You want Real Estate? Freddy: I prefer to call it "Unreal" Estate. Counselor: expression Whatever. You can get half the Condos on this island. Freddy: OH BOY! off, running by where Peppa and her gang are having a meeting. Peppa: Hey Freddy, we just found out there's an extra bed in our cabin, Care to crash there? Freddy: NO WAY! I've got Real Estate! continues running off to find Condos, where he passes by Emily and her Clique. Emily: HEY DIRTBAG! Freddy: Ah crap! back What do you want? Lisa: You can stay with us instead of sleeping with that retarded pig. Freddy: First of all, I'm underage, and second of all, of I'VE GOT A CONDO!!! Emily: A CONDO?!?! Brianna: So maybe we can "condo" it out of him. and Emily attack her in the same fashion as earlier Emily: Was that a sex joke or a pun?! finally finds the Condos Freddy: Oh yeah! in This has more space than I know what to do with. Maybe... OF COURSE! I CAN SELL IT TO THE RICH PEOPLE FOR A STUPENDOUSLY HIGH PRICE! Suzy: Isn't that illegal? Freddy: WHAT THE ARE YOU DOING ARE YOU IN MY CONDO?! Suzy: Uhh... Freddy: And for the record, it's called "Real Estate", NOW GET OUTTA HERE! Suzy out But first of all, I need to get myself settle- AHH! over rug jesus christ, 10,000 Camp Bucks!? I can sell these things later, it's time to hire some little scrubs! days later Peppa: on door Freddy, we haven't seen you in six days? OPEN! opens Freddy? Freddy? Freddy: Greetings, underling! Peppa: FREDDY! Who gave you a crack pipe?! Freddy: What!? No! This place is called a condo. Peppa: Really? It looks like any old apartment. Freddy: close-up But we can sell it so it's Real Estate. Peppa: Oh, okay I get- Freddy: Or as I like to call it, UNREAL ESTATE! Peppa: ...I'm leaving. Freddy: All visitors must be toured or killed immediately. Peppa: I'd rather die. Freddy: Okay. Eat bacon. a plate of bacon out to Peppa Peppa: OH , NO!!! Freddy: Tour it is! to tour Peppa Here is the hiring room, which is where we illegally blacklist people if their coffee has brown sugar in it. Peppa: Um- Freddy: -And here is the bathroom, where the little scrubs, well, scrub. Let's continue! Peppa: No. picks up a plate of bacon Fine. Freddy: Here is the top floor, where all the rich people hang out. Peppa: Is there are break room? Freddy: Oh yes! Lemme show you that. Peppa downstairs ''The break room is only for the most rich people in the condo. Peppa: It looks this apartment- Freddy: Condo. Peppa: ''frustrated ''...condo, will be full soon. How you going to pay for that? Freddy: I don't have to pay anything. I've got 69 others. Peppa: But what's going to happen when ''those ''are full? Freddy: I'll just sell it. Selling is what makes a condo real estate. Peppa: So you basically sell somebody a tiny AF aprtment ''at Freddy condo for what, $5000? Freddy: Actually yes, in Camp Bucks. Peppa: How much is that in actual money? $50? Freddy: No, $20,000 U.S. Dollars. Peppa: HOLY FU- explodes Freddy: OH HELL NO! YOU WILL NOT EXPLODE IN HERE! GET OUT! throw Peppa out And by the way, Peppa? Peppa: The heck do you want. Freddy: I got you a getting-out gift. Peppa: Oh boy! What is it? throws down a plate of pork Freddy: You're welcome! Peppa: FREDDY YOU PIECE OF MFING SHI- Freddy: What? I can't hear you over dinner! Peppa: Dinner? What're you having for dinner? Ham sandwiches? Freddy: No. Spaghetti. (Peppa screams and explodes) Freddy: The advantages the rich have... next day Chef Guy: F-ing eat. (dumps a living blobfish on Peppa's plate) Peppa: What the hell? Chef Guy: Eat. Peppa: No. Chef Guy: HAVING THE DEAD WITH DA BEES AND EAGLES Peppa: Whaaaaa? gets blown up by hypersonic Chef Guy Freddy: How are y'all enjoying your "meal." chuckles Danny: Hey, I don't see you eating this. Freddy: Because I used investments to help me reach my goal. Lisa: You sound like one of my fifth grade teachers. Emily: No. He sounds like Counselor. Counselor: COME ON! Do I really sound that squeaky? nods SCREW YOU ALL! Peppa: Hippie. Pedro: Hobo. Danny: Virgin. Pedro: DANNY WTF Freddy: I don't have to eat with you uncouth ameteurs, as I am now the top investor on this island. Peppa: "Inventor?" Freddy: facepalm No, "investor." Danny: Well, I mean, you're the only one on this island. Freddy: Exactly. Peppa: Why aren't you sitting with us? Freddy: First of all, Emily's a sociopath. Emily: wait what Freddy: Second of all, I'm sitting at the reserved table. Danny: Reserved table? Freddy: Yes. Pedro: Why though? We're your friends! Freddy: If I had actually cared, I would've done it by now, peace. Suzy: FREDDY GET YOUR TIGHT LITTLE ASSHOLE BACK HERE Danny: How the hell do you know what his ass looks like? Suzy: uhhhh Counselor: Lunch is frickin over. Suzy: See that Freddy? You're time is up. Freddy: Well actually, I paid to have unlimited time at the table. Suzy: Motherf- Counselor: GET OUT! Suzy: Fine. that day, the kids are all in their cabins Suzy: We need to reform Freddy. Wendy: Why? He seems pretty happy, let him be. Danny: No, he thinks he's better than us now! You coming or not? Wendy: No, I'll stay. Because I am the only person in this cabin that cares for the well-being of others. Suzy: So be it. Let's beat him up until his turns purple! Contrary to popular belief, Suzy actually said shit. Pedro: His what? Suzy: Nothing. Peppa: CHAAARGE! Notes Category:Fanon Category:PPSC Episodes Category:PPSC Season 1 Category:Episodes